Pinoys positive amid serious illness, thanks to family culture
MANILA, Oct. 4, 2012―While the family-oriented nature of Filipinos is often associated with celebratory occasions, close family ties are the key factor that has buoyed up numerous Filipinos undergoing crises such as grave illness, resulting even in uniting the family, a medical doctor revealed.“The illness will either draw the family closer together or bring it apart. In the Philippine setting, the usual thing is it brings the family together because we’re close-knit to begin with,” said Liza Manalo, M.D., who is a palliative care specialist and a faculty member at the Far Eastern University-Nicanor Reyes Medical Foundation or FEU”s Department of Family and Community Medicine.
“Magtutulungan tayo at magtutulungan — built-in you might say sa nature ng Pilipino as a nation na pag may nagkakagipitan, nandiyan tayo sa tabi ng pamilya natin (We will help each other again and again — it’s built-in in the nature of the Filipino as a nation that when help is needed, we’re there for our family),” she added. “Maybe we’re not a very nationalistic country but we’re a very family-oriented country. Our family is the most important thing in our life.”
Manalo explained how crucial the family is when a member is dealing with a serious illness such as cancer. Cancer treatment is tough, and when chemotherapy or radiotherapy is part of the chosen mode of treatment, it can require much resolve for the patient due to foreseen complications, the doctor said. Repeated trips to the hospital as well as financial costs incurred can be overwhelming that the absence of family can feel like a huge burden for the patient.
“And the fact that there’s someone to open up to confide in… ‘natatakot ako, nalulungkot ako,’ or to simply talk with, or may nagbibigay din ng ‘pep talk’… makes a big difference,” she pointed out.
“The saddest patients for me are those who don’t have families around them, at a time when their families are needed,” Manalo said, relating a scenario she had encountered several times with elderly cancer patients, in which she and fellow doctors do their hospital rounds and chance upon private-duty nurses accompanying the patients in the rooms, with no family member around.
“In matters like [cancer diagnosis and treatment], it’s important for the family to understand what’s going on with the sick relative and to be partners with the doctor as regards the treatment options to be carried out on the patient. It’s the saddest thing, [when family is seldom or never around]. The presence of family is very, very important, if not very crucial.”
Involving the children?
Though children are usually kept out of the picture when another member of the family is dealing with cancer or any other serious illness, it is advisable to involve them in some way depending on their age, maturity and capabilities, Manalo said.
First of all, since a cancer diagnosis has a profound effect on the entire family, the children need to be told about what is going on — something which family members themselves may feel ill-equipped to do. A common view among Filipino families also is that the little ones are better kept out of the loop to spare them from emotional pain.
When Manalo asks a family’s older members if they plan to let the children in on the matter, the common reply she receives is in the negative “dahil baka makasama sa bata (because it might be bad for the child).” Upon further prodding, the doctor learns the usual concern — which is the possibility that the children might be saddened by the news.
“‘Sa tingin niyo ba, hindi sila mas malulungkot kung bigla na lang mamatay ang daddy nila, o mommy nila?’ I gently ask them, then they tend to think about it more, that it will be even more tough if the child [suddenly loses the parent] without any explanation beforehand,” Manalo lamented. “Logical nga na dapat ipaliwanag habang maaga pa… siyempre sa level na maiintindihan.”
The doctor added it’s easy to assume that the children are unaware that something is up but that they hear the talking going on, whether the grownups like it or not. When they play around the room even when the adults are whispering, they can understand, she pointed out.
The palliative care specialist said that she and her co-doctors offer to explain the matter to the children if the adults in the family prefer it that way.
Manalo noted that amid difficulties for families in the course of cancer treatments, the close ties were undeniable.
“Lahat gusto nga, ang pamilya kasama sa usapan eh (Everyone wants the entire family to be included in the discussions),” she said. (CBCP for Life)
http://www.cbcpnews.com/cbcpnews/?p=4945
No comments:
Post a Comment